Comfort Zones are a Nice Place, but Nothing Grows There...

It has been a month since I have been in Denmark and I have been super busy, which is the main reason I have not been blogging often.  However, every time I would set aside time to blog I would end up deleting everything I had written.  I could not figure out what I wanted to share or what direction to go in.  I have been experiencing so much I felt overloaded with information.  Culture shock has never been a “thing” for me.  I usually adjust well in different cultures, but this experience has challenged me in various ways. There has been no place for my comfort zone here, and it has jump-started the growth I had hoped to obtain during this journey. I came here alone. No friends, no family, no familiarity.  I am someone that enjoys being alone.  I am not anti-social, but I enjoy myself and I am okay with not being around people all of the time.  For this reason, I knew that coming to an unknown country, by myself, would be OKAY.  I would finally get time to myself to truly discover who I really was. 

The Atlanta University Center can be a toxic place.  A lot of people are distracted by so many things that they lose who they really are, or never quite figure out who they want to be.  I thought I had done a good job at staying true to who Paige was, until I got to Denmark and my identity, or lack thereof, slapped me in the face.  Never has my ethnicity and race been so blatantly visible to me before.  The Danish culture is a very collectivist culture and while they glorify America, to an extent, they are extremely proud to be Danes.  They live in a small country, have a unique (and extremely difficult) language, and are proud to be who they are.  It is rare that you go anywhere and don’t see any signs of the Danish flag.  Many Danes approach me speaking Danish and I am immediately embarrassed that I can only answer them in English.  Why are Americans so basic? We are so arrogant and expect everyone to speak English or do things the way we do them, that we don’t take enough time learning about different cultures.  The Danish culture is so fascinating, but I would have never acknowledged it had I not studied in Denmark. Their welfare, healthcare, and education systems are astonishing.  They have much less citizens to worry about, but America could adopt some of the Danish principles.  Education is FREE.  Healthcare is FREE.  Everyone damn near gets money from the government, no matter their economic status. Yes, of course there are some cons to this system, but there are also many pros.  There is a reason Danish people are the happiest people on this earth.  Never once have I questioned how proud I am to be American, until coming here.   Danes also do not look at color. You know how refreshing that is? To be in a place where people do not see your race first? When I said I had never noticed my race so blatantly, I meant amongst the other American students in my program. 

Out of 1,200 students, there are a handful of Black students.  I am pretty sure I have seen them all.  However, I am the only person from an HBCU.  Because of this, I almost feel disconnected with the other Black students.  Many people here go to small private schools with 1,200-3,000 students and are used to the disproportionate ratio of Black and White students.  It has really been a challenge for me to be a minority in the classroom again.  On the other hand, I have never appreciated my Spelman experience and education more than I do now.  My core course is cross-cultural psychology and besides me, there is a Hispanic girl, and an Asian girl.  We are about as diverse as it gets.  It’s very interesting to be in a class that examines different cultures, when there is a strong lack in cultural diversity.  I am one of the token people that can speak up for the minority community.  I am happy to do this, but it has been a challenge and growing experience.  I have valued this component of the program and I am happy that I can offer my perspective and knowledge.  It is still an adjustment, but one I am grateful for. 

So here I am. A Black woman.  An American woman.  Not quite fitting in with the Danes or the Americans, but yet I feel at home.  Maybe it’s because I have found a few friends here I can relate to, or that I would have never talked to until I got here.  Maybe it is because I am in a country that is more accepting of me, than my “home” country.  Maybe it’s because I am finally in a space where I am being challenged to figure out who I am.  I can’t wait to see what more Denmark has to offer me.

One month down, three to go.